Episode 48 · The GaS Digital / Ray Kump Era
Father Kump
Jun 6, 2017 · 1:14:22 · 23 segments, 150 moments indexed
- 1 min
Show intro music and announcer bit introducing Tim Dillon Is Going To Hell on GaS Digital Network.
2moments
- 0:14Tim introduces the show's premise: taking a hard critical look at society's hated figures like billionaires, dictators, and CEOs.
- 0:24The tagline twist: acknowledging they're bad for the world, then pivoting to "thank God for them."
- 2 min
Wendy Starling's Panties and the Menstrual Blood Fetish Debate
#Tim opens with Ray Kump, recapping a prior guest incident about selling used panties, then Ray recounts having sex with a girl on her period and being a former "runner."
3moments
- 1:00Tim defends his question about whether Wendy Starling's panties had menstrual blood in them, arguing that's the only reason someone would buy a woman's underwear.
- 1:33Graphic discussion of the logistics of menstrual blood fetish content—whether the panties would be wet, dry blood, or soaked.
- 1:52Tim admits he's never heard of a menstrual blood fetish before, though he concedes it might exist.
- 3 min
The Rolling Stone Article and a Friend's Father's Funeral
#Tim jokes about wanting people at a funeral to congratulate him on being named one of Rolling Stone's ten comics to know, fantasizing about a second memorial service to milk the attention.
7moments
- 2:28Tim describes his ex-wife hitting him when he was drinking, back when he was a runner doing five miles a day at noon at the morgue.
- 3:24Tim attended a funeral for a good friend's father, and wishes Rolling Stone's "ten comics to know" article had come out before it.
- 3:36Tim wanted people at the funeral to congratulate him on the Rolling Stone feature instead of just grieving.
- 4:15Tim asks whether funeral attendees even read Rolling Stone or follow social media.
- 4:27Tim proposes organizing a second memorial service, a candlelight vigil, so people can talk to him about the Rolling Stone article.
- 4:43He jokes that Rolling Stone will dominate his life for the next six months and says he's going to start reading at funerals.
- 5:07Tim argues that people who claim they don't care about accomplishments are lunatics, especially if they care about someone.
- 2 min
Funerals, Wakes, and Loving the Whole Death Ritual
#Tim and Ray debate whether funerals are enjoyable; Tim says he loves the procession, the wake, and the social aspects, while Ray finds it harder to enjoy given his friend's father's death.
8moments
- 5:19Tim wants to see the full funeral experience: wake, church, and burial.
- 5:35He prefers a complete procession and likes being involved in the whole ritual.
- 5:46Tim has enjoyed every funeral he's attended, including his grandmother's, and finds the procession and cemetery peaceful.
- 5:56The wake has a fun social aspect, and he even likes the dinner afterward, even when someone dies before their time.
- 6:18He argues that a procession is nice—all the cars driving together—and he finds enjoyment in the experience by smoking cigarettes.
- 6:32Tim notes the Catholic ceremony's power could make someone vulnerable to priests, who use it to try to seduce people.
- 6:43He says priests craft the ceremony to turn people on, then leverage that against them.
- 6:56Priests always bring up hell during the funeral service as a manipulation tactic.
priestsCatholic ceremony
- 1 min
Priests Bringing Up Hell at Funerals and B-Squad Clergy
#Tim riffs on priests using funerals as a captive-audience sales pitch about hell, noting the church saves its best orators for funerals versus regular Sunday mass, with a tangent about immigrant priests.
4moments
- 7:05Priests use funerals like insurance—the only time they feel they matter, unlike regular Sunday services where regulars just shuffle in.
- 7:29Tim: funerals bring outsiders, so priests really hammer the mortality angle to hook people back in.
- 7:52Tim attended church every week as a boy and noticed priests never bring B-squad clergy to funerals—they send the A team.
- 8:03The B-squad priests—often immigrants from Africa—handle the regular services instead.
- 3 min
Father Ray: Confessional Bits, Energy Drinks, and the Priesthood Fantasy
#Tim and Ray do an extended bit imagining Ray as a priest, joking about confessionals, nihilism about death, drinking Red Bull on the altar, and Ray's teenage flirtation with becoming a priest.
8moments
- 8:49Tim told his high school chaplain he wanted to be a priest and the chaplain reported him to the principal, claiming he was on drugs.
- 9:12Priests at funerals tell weak jokes about hell to keep the audience listening, then push the fear of damnation.
- 9:48Tim's fictional priest character explains the arbitrary rules: we don't eat meat on Fridays because Jesus was, and he needs money from the congregation.
- 10:12Tim acknowledges his Father Ray voice doesn't actually sound like him, but insists he would be a great priest.
- 10:40When asked if he believes in anything, Tim's priest character says no—he used to, but doesn't anymore.
- 10:57In a confessional, Tim's priest tells a penitent that when they die their temporal energy becomes nothing.
- 11:15Tim's priest character would be drinking Red Bull and Five-Hour Energy on the altar because the Holy Spirit isn't working.
- 11:26Tim's priest orders a Monster energy drink with the Eucharist to keep his heart rate up.
- 2 min
They discuss Kathy Griffin losing her CNN gig and live shows over the bloody Trump head photo, comparing it to Bill Maher controversy and debating cancel culture and whether either was actually funny.
6moments
- 11:50Kathy Griffin lost her CNN gig after the bloody Trump head photo and they're canceling all her live shows.
- 12:04Tim explains Griffin held up Trump's bloody head as a move to stir the pot with her posts.
- 12:17Tim complains about 'pussies on both sides' — Republicans and Democrats who pretend to be offended by provocations.
- 12:30The effort to bring Trump down dwarfs whatever the media did to Nixon, according to Tim.
- 12:48Trump called a Navy SEAL a hero despite a Yemeni airstrike killing a girl under his command.
- 13:27Tim's actual problem with Griffin: she's not funny and there's no joke, just a bloody head photo.
Kathy GriffinDonald TrumpYemenGilbert GottfriedBill MaherTed Alexander
- 3 min
Turning Down Network TV, Guinea Pig, and Ray's Proprietary Streaming Platform
#Tim brags about refusing network TV deals, plugs his web show pilot and the long-delayed "Guinea Pig" project, then riffs with Ray about Ray's fantasy of launching his own "proprietary digital platform."
6moments
- 14:03Tim refuses to get a network TV job because everything has become a fireable offense, so he auditions constantly and turns everything down instead.
- 14:25He comes to the apartment in East Village with Ray every week and just shot a pilot for a web show, which they're proud of despite it being on the web.
- 15:00Tim's sports-oriented web show will tell off-kilter sports stories, with his first episode about wife swapping.
- 15:25Guinea Pig, a project he's been talking about for years, is coming soon but its release platform hasn't been decided yet.
- 15:54Ray is considering releasing Guinea Pig on iTunes or his own proprietary digital platform, possibly guinea pig.com.
- 16:10Tim offers to set up a meeting with Shannon and Ray about getting a show on Ray's proprietary digital streaming platform.
- 3 min
House of Cards Season Finale and the Deep State
#Tim and Ray review the just-finished House of Cards season, debate its quality across seasons, joke about the show's body count versus real American deaths, and pivot into a discussion of the deep state and corporate power versus the CIA.
6moments
- 16:52Tim ranks House of Cards as fun but not elite—below The Sopranos, The Wire, The Shield, and The Americans.
- 17:11The show's problem is needing to constantly top itself and become progressively more ridiculous each season.
- 17:56Tim dismisses the idea that the country is actually run like House of Cards, noting the show has only killed seven or eight people total across all seasons.
- 18:21The show at least acknowledges the wheels of power behind the presidency, which is interesting even if not entirely accurate.
- 18:39The deep state—unelected power brokers and institutions like the CIA and FBI that have existed for decades.
- 18:59The head of McDonald's probably has more actual power and influence than some CIA guys.
House of CardsMcDonald'sCIADeep StateClaire and Frank Underwood
- 4 min
The Death of Sit-Down Chain Restaurants and McDonald's Decline
#Tim predicts a revolution in dining, arguing McDonald's has become overpriced rest-stop food being replaced by fast-casual chains like Chipotle and Shake Shack, with Ray pushing back.
7moments
- 19:42Theme restaurants like Applebee's and Ruby Tuesday are dying because people don't want to sit down anymore.
- 19:55McDonald's is failing because its price point has gotten too high compared to fast-casual chains.
- 20:49The argument for McDonald's used to be that it was cheap, but now eating there means you literally want to die.
- 21:29Tim claims he's never actually met a starving artist, only rich kids telling jokes.
- 22:11For the money, Chipotle and Panera feel better than McDonald's even if they might not actually be healthier.
- 22:41When there were fewer fast-food options, McDonald's was the default choice instead of a sit-down restaurant.
- 23:25Even fat people have stopped going to McDonald's because it hasn't had anything worth eating in a long time.
- 3 min
Fat People, McDonald's Nostalgia, and the Imaginary Estranged Daughter Bit
#The McDonald's debate continues into a bit about Ray's fictional daughter and a McDonald's stop, plus riffing on value meals and eating at McDonald's abroad in Rome.
9moments
- 23:44Tim on fast food that's worth getting fat for, dismissing mediocre chains.
- 24:20Shake Shack excites him more than McDonald's, which he's eaten a million times.
- 24:47McDonald's has become rest stop food, ubiquitous and forgettable.
- 25:07People eating McDonald's in Rome should be shot in the face instead of eating local food.
- 25:28Tim on the McDouble and vanilla shake combination, admitting it's not actually good anymore.
- 25:48The market is shifting toward fast casual; at 2 a.m. you grab whatever's open, not what's trendy.
- 26:12Estranged daughter bit: driving to Ohio to see her, 200 miles away from the nearest Shake Shack.
- 26:24She's dead in the car but Tim's hungry, so he stops at McDonald's anyway.
- 26:38He yells at her corpse to shut up while chain-smoking and twitching in the backseat.
- 3 min
House of Cards Spoilers and Trashing the Guy Who Won't Come on the Show
#Tim intentionally spoils the House of Cards ending, rants at a podcast guest/documentary director who never responded to bookings, and pivots into mocking Father Maskell abuse victims.
8moments
- 27:01Energy drinks giving someone constant strokes; he forgets where he is and can't remember names of imaginary daughters.
- 27:22Tim curses out the director of The Keepers for not responding to his Instagram message and not coming on the show.
- 27:42House of Cards spoiler: Claire Underwood becomes president by the end, which was obvious from episode two anyway.
- 27:56Debate over whether to bleep the spoiler because the show's been out less than a week and people will resent them.
- 28:51Tim's frustrated the guy from the documentary won't come on; he messaged and emailed him last week with no response.
- 29:02Tim attacks the director for being a loser his whole life and needing their platform more than they need him.
- 29:14The documentary features victims and an old lady claiming abuse, but Tim suggests the director may be planting false memories.
- 29:34Father Maskel was indeed bad, but Tim mocks the accusers' credibility with crude commentary on their appearance.
- 8 min
The Keepers Documentary and Father Maskell's Abuse
#Extended dark-comedic riff on the Netflix documentary The Keepers, Father Maskell's abuse of deaf and other children, the Church's cover-up unit, and the island where accused priests were relocated.
11moments
- 30:01Tim recounts how his high school priest's crude comment would have seemed funny to him at the time, and explains his willingness to go along with it as humor rather than attraction.
- 30:17Alex Gibney directed documentaries on Scientology, torture prisons, and a film about deaf children being raped by a priest, which Tim struggles to describe.
- 32:37Father Maskell held a gun to girls' heads, called them whores, and raped them while his brother was police chief, yet parishioners praised his calming demeanor.
- 33:07Tim argues that Catholicism and Satanism are almost the same thing.
- 33:34The Vatican created an island to isolate problematic priests, which backfired when a Disney cruise crashed there and the children needed blessing.
- 34:28When the Vatican found out about the island plan, they got aggressive, shut it down, and turned it into a recycling facility where priests spend a month before returning to their parishes to abuse more children.
- 35:01The church covered up Maskell's abuse allegations for years, moved him around, and never properly addressed the problem.
- 35:24A psychology unit director asked the church to give him advance warning when they were sending over child-abusing priests, since they kept showing up claiming depression while actually confessing to raping teenagers.
- 36:04Tim imagines priests from other religions confronting a priest who molested children, with the priest denying he drinks and defending his actions as acceptable.
- 36:55Tim acknowledges that while pedophiles are sometimes depicted as tortured souls with urges, the glibness and satanic joking of these priests, combined with threats to families, makes them especially bad.
- 37:39Tim attended Catholic school for twelve years and was on a swim team but was never raped, and feels lucky about that fact.
Catholic ChurchFather MaskellMia maxima CulpaThe KeepersAlex GibneyFather MagnusFather Joe
- 3 min
Bring Back the Rack: Vatican II and Torture Nostalgia
#A bit mocking traditionalist Catholics who want the Latin mass and torture devices back, comparing it to Congress members like Michele Bachmann, leading into Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and enhanced interrogation.
6moments
- 38:59Vatican II ruined the church—the mass should be in Latin with the priest facing the wall.
- 39:14Bring back the rack.
- 39:33Tim discusses Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and CIA torture practices like waterboarding.
- 39:52The New Pearl Harbor is a four-and-a-half-hour 9/11 documentary worth watching late at night instead of Loose Change.
- 40:13Tim was initially skeptical when a friend kept pushing him to watch the documentary while eating Taco Bell on the side of the road.
- 40:39After watching it, Tim couldn't refute the documentary's arguments and found himself unable to stop watching it.
The New Pearl HarborKhalid Sheikh MohammedVatican IIMichelle Bachman
- 9 min
9/11 Truth, Saudi Arabia's Role, and the New Pearl Harbor Documentary
#Tim and Ray discuss the documentary The New Pearl Harbor, the declassified 28 pages implicating Saudi funding in 9/11, the endless drone war in Yemen/Somalia/Sudan, and the futility of the War on Terror.
12moments
- 41:10It's no longer an argument that the U.S. government is actively covering up Saudi Arabia's role in 9/11.
- 41:53Twenty-eight declassified pages show Saudi Arabia had a larger role in the attacks, involving funding from royal family members and charities.
- 42:20The hijackers appeared to be intelligence assets of a foreign government rather than random operatives.
- 42:54Tim suggests the Saudis may have been a proxy army matched against themselves, similar to their partnership with the CIA funding Mujahideen in Afghanistan.
- 43:34The existence of a cover-up is enough to ask why there is one in the first place.
- 43:52Vice reported the U.S. is conducting about 100 military operations a day in Africa, but nobody talks about it.
- 44:45The U.S. has been bombing Yemen throughout Obama's entire presidency and into Trump's without effectively eliminating Al Qaeda there.
- 45:51Since the 2001 attacks in 2017, terrorism is now as much or more a part of American life than it was then.
- 46:10Every action taken since 9/11 has only inflamed Muslim sentiment against the United States.
- 47:03The cycle continues: drone strikes and special ops kill family members of civilians, who then seek revenge, creating new terrorists.
- 47:59The interests of elites in these countries and the interests of their populations don't seem to be aligned at all.
- 48:46America has a vast machine doing things the public is not privy to and certainly didn't sanction, involving the entire intelligence apparatus institutionalizing the use of government to leverage business.
9/11CIASaudi ArabiaSenator Bob Grahamwar on terrorismYemenintelligence apparatusMujahideen+4 more
- 3 min
The CIA-Corporate Nexus and John Brennan at the Vegas Hedge Fund Conference
#They discuss the revolving door between the CIA and corporations like Facebook and Google, then riff on a real story of CIA director John Brennan attending a Bellagio hedge fund conference in Vegas.
6moments
- 49:35CIA recruits corporate executives from tech companies like Uber, Google, and Facebook for information and operations.
- 50:11The empire stays afloat because everyone at the top gets rich, while the human and financial costs of dominating world resources aren't shared evenly.
- 50:40Tim identifies the lack of structural solutions to inequality and concentrated power as deeply depressing.
- 51:13Americans benefit from cheap goods and affordable oil made possible by imperial leverage, but the trade-off involves constant chaos and bloodshed.
- 51:55John Brennan, former CIA head, appeared at a Vegas hedge fund conference at the Bellagio alongside managers discussing risk and profit.
- 52:23Tim questions whether Brennan was there to illuminate attendees or to sell them access to favors through a $300,000 price tag.
- 5 min
Empire, Mercantilism, and Whether Terrorism Works
#A heavier discussion of American empire, the apathy of the middle class, the impossibility of organizing real change, and a provocative claim that terrorism has historically achieved political goals.
9moments
- 53:36Brennan's angle is to dress up resource extraction as altruistic, talking about expanding freedom and human dignity.
- 54:25Richard Haas endorses a hands-off approach to empire modeled after the British Empire—mercantilism where you don't directly control colonies but use them as markets.
- 55:25Once you realize how rigged the game is and how much it favors wealthy, connected people, there's nowhere to go.
- 56:04The apathy of the middle and lower class, combined with their inability to organize and affect real change, leaves people asking what difference they can make.
- 56:27Society has conversations about gay people and trans people but not about the nature of empire and America's role in the world.
- 56:57Tim jokes that if you can't help people through charity or organizing, the alternative is killing everyone—kidding, but that's what people do.
- 57:12People who say violence never works ignore that Martin Luther King and Gandhi succeeded without overthrowing systems directly.
- 57:24Terrorism worked across the past 50 years—it got the U.S. out of certain situations, and when they overstepped, the country bounced back hard.
- 57:39Spain pulled out of their operations after the Madrid bombings, demonstrating that terrorism does work.
John BrennanEmpireRichard HaassGandhiMartin Luther KingCouncil on Foreign Relations
- 1 min
Terrorism Works: Title Bit and Patrice O'Neal's Bin Laden Story
#Tim jokingly names the episode 'Terrorism Works' and recommends Patrice O'Neal's Bin Laden story from Opie and Anthony as essential listening.
2moments
- 57:52Tim introduces the show title: "Terrorism Works."
- 58:19Tim recommends Patrice O'Neill's bin Laden story on Opiate Anthony as essential viewing, calling it the best thing ever.
- 2 min
Housekeeping about upcoming tour dates in Newport, Denver, Zanies, and Dead Crow Comedy Club, plus thanking Rolling Stone, Bobby Kelly, and Ari Shaffir for mentions.
5moments
- 59:25Who Took Johnny the Musical is happening; Tim will announce ticket availability soon.
- 59:41The tour bus show drives into the East River while Ray talks about the Council on Foreign Relations and the Federal Reserve.
- 1:00:09Tim announces tour dates: Newport Rhode Island, Denver with Dan Soder in July, Zany's in August, and Dead Crow Comedy Club in North Carolina.
- 1:00:30Rolling Stone article mentioned Tim's appearances on YKWD and Skeptic Tank podcasts with Bobby Kelly and Ari Shafir.
- 1:00:45The host clarifies he was not actually mentioned in the Rolling Stone article.
Ari ShaffirBobby KellyJohnny the MusicalRolling StoneCouncil on Foreign RelationsRay Kump
- 2 min
Anthrax Letters and the Fake Government Anthrax Scare Bit
#A bit about mailing fake anthrax to Rolling Stone and Nancy Pelosi spirals into riffing on the real 2001 anthrax letter attacks and a CIA-handler motivational-speech parody.
4moments
- 1:00:59Tim jokes about sending a letter with white powder labeled as anthrax.
- 1:01:19Government faked the whole anthrax scare, sending letters to congressmen to keep people scared.
- 1:01:34Tim speculates the CIA's B-squad wanted to do something and decided to mail anthrax letters.
- 1:02:08Tim does CIA motivational speaker bit, telling an agent their job is to set off a bomb in a bag and yell Allah once a week.
- 5 min
Shannon reads the new PO box mailing address and requested gift cards (Chipotle, Dunkin), followed by a bit describing absurd Excelsior/Silver/Gold/Bronze membership perks like lunch with Tim and Ray.
10moments
- 1:03:13Tim announces the show's new mailing address: Gas Digital Studios, care of Tim Dillon is going to hell, 151 First Avenue, New York.
- 1:03:28No limbs of children will be accepted; he lists acceptable items like medicine, Penicillin, morphine for Ray, and Adderall.
- 1:03:45Gift card donations are welcome—Chipotle, Starbucks, or any fast food chain that actually exists in their area.
- 1:04:11Sweetgreen doesn't have a location nearby, so Tim shuts down the suggestion as impractical.
- 1:04:43Listeners can buy lunch with Tim and Ray through pewtdulugar.com, though he warns they might show up to find FBI agents.
- 1:05:49Tim mentions that people have approached him about dinners and he's willing to arrange them if possible.
- 1:06:11Excelsior membership tier unlocks the option to have lunch with Tim and Ray.
- 1:06:25Bronze members get Ray emerging from a stairwell in their building to say hello with no touching allowed.
- 1:06:45Silver and gold tiers include touching; gold is biting, and Excelsior members get taken to Otto's tacos to discuss topics like 9-11.
- 1:07:06Excelsior members can also get life coaching, hear about car accidents, and access everything else the show offers.
GaS Digital StudiosOtto's TacosSweetgreenChipotleRay KumpShannonDunkin Donuts
- 1 min
Tim asks Shannon about her recent date and a runner-up guy in North Carolina she's been talking to.
2moments
- 1:07:37Tim asks Shannon about her date.
- 1:07:57Tim notes the guy has a nice rooster and asks if he resisted when Shannon wanted to see it.
- 6 min
Pitching Ray's Porn-Algorithm Streaming Service in a Fake Hollywood Meeting
#An extended improvised sketch where Tim plays a studio exec grilling Ray on his proposed streaming platform, which spirals into a pitch involving porn-viewing algorithms predicting other content tastes, ending the show.
9moments
- 1:08:36Ray's proprietary digital platform is introduced as the foundation of his streaming service pitch.
- 1:09:12The pitch begins: Ray wakes up sad every day without his own proprietary digital platform to stream content to America.
- 1:09:51People want content from someone they know, not from faceless corporations like YouTube.
- 1:10:26The service needs algorithms and a face for the algorithm—someone people trust as a curator.
- 1:11:12Tim steers the pitch toward real porn: the gap between what airs on TV and what people actually want to watch.
- 1:11:55Ray describes extreme fetish content—interracial anal, stepping on testicles with high heels, scat, and snuff.
- 1:12:38Porn is a multi-billion-dollar industry that outsells and outwatches mainstream TV like Two and a Half Men.
- 1:12:58The core innovation: use porn-watching algorithms to predict what interview shows or daytime TV someone wants to watch.
- 1:14:01Ray plans to host his own talk show on the platform called Fatty the Piggy Pig to help sell the service.