Interview · moment 7 of 19

Getting Sober and the Roots of Violence

from Bully Queen (With Robert Kelly) · #22

Audio-only archive episode — no video to seek.

5 min

Guest

Bobby discusses getting sober at 15, leaving his family, and traces his history of violence back to a violent stepfather, describing how fear and rage became learned survival tools, including punching a suitcase and screaming into a wall.

In this bit10 moments
  • 12:42Tim recounts arriving at an Indian woman's apartment after waiting three hours because Shannon couldn't push a button quickly enough.
  • 13:16Conversation shifts to his spiritual awakening and decision to stop using drugs and alcohol.
  • 13:44Tim lists what he was done with: getting arrested, people pleasing, leaving his family—he quit at 15.
  • 14:03Something spiritual entered him and gave him the ability to ask for help.
  • 14:24Violence stemmed from fear and hurt feelings, not the drugs themselves—alcohol just removed the chains on those impulses.
  • 15:17Tim learned from a violent stepfather that punching things and letting rage build would keep him away.
  • 16:02Building rage and releasing it violently made people stop fucking with him, though he insists that's not actually who he is.
  • 16:27Tim demonstrates his violent persona from those years with an intense outburst, then jokes about being convincing.
  • 16:46Watching fights on Facebook—he claims he watches them because he hates violence and wants to be disgusted by it.
  • 17:21In any fight he's been in, winning made him feel worse than losing because he doesn't want to hurt people.
Mentioned here

Shannon

All 19 moments in this episode →